Written January 8.  20 weeks… Halfway to meeting Baby Romenesko!

This morning we had our 20 week appointment — the ULTRASOUND.

There are very, very few things in life that leave me speechless.  This, my friends, was one of them.  Putting into words the experience of seeing our baby, a baby that actually looks like a baby instead of a little gummy bear, was so difficult.  But I wanted to try anyways.

There is only one word to describe all of the amazing emotions that I felt during the 45 minutes that we were able to watch our baby on the screen… Watch our baby moving all around, waving its little arms, turning from side to side, beating heart, developing organs…

Awestruck.

I mean honestly, being able to see this gift that God has so graciously chosen Peter and I to have was just breathtaking.  And tear jerking.

Right when we found out that we were pregnant, we decided that we didn’t want to know the gender of the baby.  I remember when a friend of mine was pregnant, she didn’t know what she was having, and she told me, “You know, there aren’t very many surprised left in life, and this is such a wonderful one.  Why not?  There are only two options anyway!”

I really liked that… Enough to remember it three years later!

As our 20 week appointment approached, I started thinking that maaaaaaaaaaaybe I wanted to know the gender.  I proposed this new idea to Peter and he was like NOPE!  You wanted a surprise!  We’re keeping it a surprise!

Immediately upon walking into our appointment, I said, “Hello!  We don’t want to know the gender of the baby!!”  Because I KNEW that if we got to a point where the ultrasound technician asked me if I wanted to know, I would have caved.

The tech was WONDERFUL and she said that she would avoid that area of the baby all together so that we didn’t see anything that we didn’t want to see.  She warned me that I wouldn’t be able to call back in a week and ask, because she wouldn’t even know the gender.  I’m just glad the temptation is over!

What we do know is that we have a really active baby!  Twisting and turning, moving all over the place!  The appointment took a little longer than it should have because the baby just wouldn’t hold still for all of the measurements to be taken.  The tech got everything she needed though, and the baby looks fabulous.  Measuring right where it should be, due date is still the end of May, and average in size etc.  Woohoo!

I kept getting teared up during the ultrasound because honestly, it really was the most amazing experience I’ve had to date.  Peter and I kept saying “This is so amazing!” or “That’s our baby” or “What a miracle“, and Pete would keep on giving my hand an extra squeeze every time the tech told us something else looked great.

For me, as soon as we made the decision that we were going to start trying to have a baby, I knew that there was going to be someone relying on me.  100%.  That’s it, just me.  I started being much more conscious of the decisions that I was making when it came to my body, knowing that someone else was potentially relying on my body as well.

Despite knowing that I’m pregnant, it wasn’t until I saw the human life on the ultrasound screen that I had the overwhelmingly exhilarating realization that for the first time in my life, there is another person that is 100% dependent on me.  After the baby is born, of course it will be dependent on me.  But it could, really, be dependent on anyone that is able to feed it, love it, care for it.  For 40 weeks, though, there is another life that is absolutely dependent on me and me alone.  Such a huge responsibility that became so real while I was admiring that tiny little nose and those tiny little lips.

There’s our baby.  Waving hello to the world.

I still can’t believe that we’re having a baby.

Written December 3.  15 weeks.

This morning we got to hear our baby’s heartbeat and it was the best sound I’ve ever heard.  When I told my friend L that we heard the heartbeat, she put it perfectly – it was magical.

For the last couple of weeks, I’ve been feeling significantly better (read: not suffering from constant nausea).  Since I’ve only been feeling fatigue, it’s actually kind of easy to forget that I’m pregnant…  So of course I was slightly nervous about the appointment.

When we got all checked in and into the exam room, there were two chairs.  I took off my coat and sat down in one.  Pete stood in front of me.

I’m pretty sure that you’re supposed to sit in the pregnant lady chair.

I busted out laughing because seriously, the pregnant lady chair was DOUBLE the size of the other chair that I had already claimed.  So obviously I made him make himself look as small as possible and took a picture.  And put it on Instagram.

The appointment took about 10 minutes total, and it was just fabulous.  I was surprised that it went so quickly!  The doctor came in with the little sound machine thing, put the gel on my belly, and started moving the apparatus around.

It was kind of nerve-wracking, because she couldn’t find the heartbeat right away.  She found mine – proof that my heart is not made of stone – and then kept right on searching for the baby’s.  After what seemed like an eternity, she found it, and it sounds great.

I felt like I let out a HUGE sigh of relief and then the tears started coming.  What an absolutely amazing sound.  swoosh..swoosh..swoosh..swoosh..

Peter didn’t really say anything during that appointment, but had a kind of dazed look on his face.  Meanwhile, I was laying on the bed thing smiling and crying and just filled with joy and awe.  Hearing that heartbeat made my pregnancy so much more real and wonderful.  And it really makes you realize how amazing God is to give us this precious, precious gift.

As we were leaving the clinic and parting ways to go to our respective jobs, Pete stopped, looked at me, and said, “You know, Sara, if I could listen to that sound all the time, I would.”

Swooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon.

I’ve always known that I have been so lucky and blessed to find a man like Peter to be my husband.  And now, now that him being a dad isn’t just a dream anymore, I realize that our baby is going to be one really lucky little boy or girl.

Written November 14.  12 weeks (!!!!!!!!!).

Finally.  Another milestone.  FINALLY TWELVE WEEKS SO WE CAN FINALLY TELL OUR FRIENDS AND COWORKERS AND IT IS WONDERFUL AND EXCITING.

I had told a few close friends of mine about the baby a couple weeks ago, and it was so fun and wonderful because for the most part, they were completely unsuspecting, which made it that much more exciting.  I wish that I could secretly snap a picture of everyone’s faces when we tell them the news, because it really is SOOOOO wonderful.  And our friends are amazing because they are all so supportive and just giddy with excitement.  Sigh.  I’m smiling like an idiot right now.

Peter and I were REALLY excited to finally be able to share the news with our coworkers.  A handful of mine have known for a couple weeks (hey, I did shockingly well), but now I don’t have to whisper about it, so I’m ready to sing all the time because I’m so happy.

I think that the way Peter and I told our respective coworkers shows a lot about our personalities.  I went to people’s offices to tell them.  For some people, I showed them the picture of the ultrasound, and for others I just walked in and said, “I’m having a baby!”  So there’s that.  I mean, now that I can actually tell people, why skirt around the edges??  Everyone had pretty much the same reaction: they are so supportive and wonderful and excited, quickly followed by “I can’t believe that you actually kept this secret for this long!”

Peter, on the other hand, sent out an email to his coworkers.  And you guys, it was SUCH A GOOD EMAIL that a part of me was like hmmm maybe I should have considered that.  But then I was like we all have different strengths.

(By the way, I promise you that I did not change a single thing about the subject or content of this email.  I’ve married a great man.)

From: Peter Romenesko
Date: November 14, 2014
To: Amazing BTF coworkers and friends
Subject: ‘Bun in the Oven’ (and other Baked Good Puns)

Good morning everyone;

Both Sara and I are excited to announce that we are expecting a new member to the Romenesko family in late May.  Please celebrate with us by enjoying the calorie – and fat – free baked goods in the break room!

There are a few things that I’m sure some of you are curious to know, so I thought I’d answer a few up front:

1. First, we are not going to find out the gender.  Well, ultimately we are, but you get the point.  Sara wants a girl and I want a Star Wars fan.

2. Second, everyone is healthy.  Sara gets sick at the smell of frozen pizza which – as all of you know – REALLY puts a dampener on my dinner of choice when I’m left to my own means.  There is going to be a lot of Arctic Grilling at the Romenesko house this winter.

3. Third, I have been able to negotiate keeping the “Packer” themed room in our home.  The Jordy Nelson autograph, Packer Stock, and Brett Favre trading cards are all safe (for now)!  This means the “Brewer” themed room will be turned to the Nursery.

4. Finally, I must publicly apologize to J as she has asked me DIRECTLY at least twice when this announcement was coming (including yesterday!) and I have had to lie to her.  I’m sorry, J.  I hope you accept my apologies.

Thank you all for being great co-workers and mentors; we are very excited to share this news.  BTF hired me as a recent college grad, joined Sara and I through our marriage and is now sharing in this exciting adventure!

Peter

Wasn’t that so great??  In a similar email that Peter sent to some of his buddies, he wrote “Sara can hardly go 10 minutes without telling someone at work” (true) and (this is my favorite part because it makes me swoon) “Seeing this tiny, living human being move was the scariest, most humbling experience I have ever had in my whole life.  People have shared with me the pictures of their ultrasound — it wasn’t until I saw the smallest Romenesko to date shadow boxing on the monitor that I realized that awe isn’t rooted in the technology that takes the picture, it’s rooted in what the technology reveals and what the picture represents: the fragile gift of life.”  Siiiiiiiiiiigh.

Pete and I decided that we would wait to tell our extended families at Thanksgiving, because it is so much more fun telling people in person than it is over the phone.  I mean, the timing really is perfect.  Only a few more weeks until we can tell the WORLD and I AM SO EXCITED!!!!!

Written October 29.  10 weeks.

Finally!  FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY we got to go to the doctor and it was amazing and wonderful and there are two best news items.

1. Baby is doing great.  So wonderful to finally see the little bugger!
2. LOVE THE DOCTOR.  God obviously had a hand in making sure that she had an opening for me.  Because SHE IS AMAZING.

I guess the third item would be that there is only one baby in there, which was a pretty nice sigh of relief for me and the future dad.  Twins run heavily in my mom’s family, so it was a legitimate fear…  But there’s only one!  And it’s the size of a kumquat!  Which I had to google because I don’t know how big a kumquat is!!

As you know, I had been waiting and waiting and waiting for the doctor’s appointment.  I just really wanted someone to say, “Everything you are feeling is normal.  And everything is fine.”  And that’s just what she did.

Obviously the best part was the ultrasound, where we got to see the babyyyyy that will be joining our lives in about 30 weeks.  Yay!  It was such a wonderful moment, seeing the tiny little being that has been making me feel so nauseous for the last few weeks.  My favorite part was seeing the little flutter of the heartbeat.  And tied for favorite part was seeing Peter’s reaction to seeing the baby.  This is so cheesy, but seriously you guys, I fell in love with the man again, and I am just over the moon that he is going to be a dad.  He’ll be such a good one.  He just kept saying “I’m going to be a dad.  Sar.  This is so amazing.”   Swoooooooooooooooon.

The baby started squirming around a little bit during the ultrasound.  That was Peter’s favorite part.  Because he said “Look Sar, it has my fight, not your flight!  So that’s really good!.”  I thought it was equally parts offensive and hilarious.

SO!  Without further ado!  Here he or she is 🙂

You guys.  That’s our baby.

Read Baby Romenesko Post 9: Telling our coworkers

Written October 19.  8.5 weeks.  Happy Birthday Adrianna!

As I’ve said countless times, I am REALLY REALLY bad at keeping surprise secrets.  Especially from Jenna.  Jenna and I talk every day, and if we miss a day, then we’re like OMG I HAVEN’T TALKED TO YOU IN SO LONG, I HAVE SO MUCH TO TELL YOU.  So not being able to tell her that her kids were going to have a COUSIN was horrible.  My only saving grace was that I haven’t seen Jen since we found out about the baby, and I wouldn’t be seeing her until we planned on telling all the siblings about the baby.

Peter and I had this whole plan worked out (when will we learn that we shouldn’t plan anymore??) that we were going to tell all of our siblings when we were a little over 12 weeks along when we were all in Milwaukee together seeing Lion King the musical.  It was a great plan.

Until Saturday, when I woke up and said, “I HAVE TO TELL MY SIBLINGS THAT WE ARE HAVING A BABY.”  I called my mom first to see what she thought if we just FaceTimed everyone, and she was very supportive.  Then I had to wait 2.5 hours for Peter to wake up because I knew he wanted to be there.

A tiny slice of my heart was sad that I wasn’t able to wait to tell my sisters and brother in person because I really wanted to be able to give them all big hugs and cry with them.  But the majority of my heart was REALLY HAPPY to be able to take a picture of all of their reactions.

We called Rachel first.  I NEVER FaceTime with her, so right when we called, before she even said hello, she asked, “Are you pregnant??”  Now, I need to say that Ray used to ask me this ALL THE TIME, and I finally had to be like RACHEL PLEASE STOP ASKING ME, I PROMISE WE WILL TELL YOU WHEN WE ARE.  And she was all BUT I’M SO EXCITED!  But she stopped, which I really appreciated.

When Ray asked us if we were pregnant, all I did was smile and nod my head.  She was OVER THE MOON AND IN COMPLETE DENIAL saying things like “I swear to God, Sara, if this is a joke I’m going to kill you.”  And “are you serious right now????”

When we were FaceTiming with Ray, Adrianna came in the house from outside, so we told her.  She was her usual stoic self.  No tears, but definite excitement!

Then, we called Jenna.  We FaceTime with Jenna and her kids quite often, so it wasn’t an odd request when we wanted to talk to her.  Over the last couple of weeks, Jenna and I have been talking about babies a LOT, because it seems that every other day someone on Facebook is announcing their pregnancy, and it is KILLING ME to not be able to say “CONGRATULATIONS, OUR KIDS CAN BE FRIENDS BECAUSE THEY’LL BE BORN ONLY A MONTH APART!!”

Anyways, when we were FaceTiming with Jenna, this was how our conversation went:

S: JENNA.  You are NOT going to believe who else I found out is pregnant!!!
J: WHO?!
S: US!!
J: *stunned silence*

It took Jenna about 5 seconds to be like ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!  I only wish I would have been faster to get a screenshot of her stunned face!!

Joshua is very excited to have a little cousin.

And then there’s Taylor.  I called Taylor MULTIPLE times throughout the day.  I FaceTimed her.  I texted her.  She never responded.  She FINALLY called me back on Saturday night and the first thing she said was “Are you pregnant?” So obviously I lied and said, “No, I honestly wanted to show you this new purse that I got.”  So then she was saying how she saw all of my calls and texts, and ignored me (typical), and then she talked to Mom and Mom asked if she talked to me, and then she thought we were pregnant.

So I stood up and let Peter take the iPad so that I could model the purse that I wanted to show Taylor.

The purse was actually a diaper bag that my mom got me.  But Tay didn’t know it.

T: Sara. That’s huge.
S: Really?  Do you think it’s too big?
T: Sara, it’s seriously like a suitcase.
…
Pete: That’s because it’s a diaper bag!!!!!
T: Oh my gosh, are you SERIOUS??!?!

It was SO FUN and wonderful telling all of my sisters the news.  We haven’t told Laura yet, but I’m not quite sure she’ll understand what’s going on until there is a new baby taking the attention away from her….

Today, we were able to tell Marty and his lovely girlfriend Kathleen in person, which was just fabulous.  Pete and I had already made plans to meet them for lunch while Marty was visiting Kat, so it worked out perfectly.  Kathleen was so sweet – we would be chatting and she would just say, “I can’t believe that the whole time we were playing that board game you were pregnant.”  Marty is thrilled for us as well.

How I EVER thought that I would be able to wait until November 15 to share this news with my sisters and brother was clearly some kind of sick torture device my mind was trying to play on me.

I adore being able to talk about it openly with them 🙂

Read Baby Romenesko Post 8: The doctor appointment
Read Baby Romenesko Post 9: Telling our coworkers

Written October 16.  8 weeks.

Officially 8 weeks today, and getting really excited about 2 things: 13 days until my first doctor appointment (!!!!!!!!!!!!) and only FOUR MORE WEEKS until I can share our news with the world.  Can.not.wait.

I spend about 75% of my day feeling nauseous.  So that stinks.  My days have typically been looking like this:

6:00 am – Alarm goes off.  Feel ill.  Hit the snooze.

6:09 am – Alarm goes off again.  Still feel ill.  Hit the snooze.

6:18 am – Alarm goes off again.  Still feel ill.  Decide to shower.

6:35 am – Get out of the shower.  Go to the kitchen and get a Sprite.  Get back in bed and sip my Sprite hoping to settle my stomach.

6:55 am – Stomach is not settled, but realize that if I don’t get up and moving, I will be very late for work.

7:25 am – Put 3 granola bars in my purse, take my vitamin, and grab a brown sugar Pop Tart to eat on my way to work.

Around 9:30 am – Suddenly I’m STARVING.  Eat a granola bar.

Around noon – Am I hungry?  Maybe?  Go to Subway and get a chicken sandwich.

Around 12:30 – Realize that I wasn’t hungry, now feel really sick.

Around 1:30 – Feel pretty alright.  I’ll make it through this day!  Afternoons are generally pretty good.

Around 4:45 – On my drive home, realize that I actually kind of feel like shit.

5:00 pm – Get home.  Look around the house and see that laundry needs to be done, the kitchen needs to be cleaned, and that Peter has been eating frozen pizza for dinner every night.  I WILL cook something tonight!  Eat a granola bar.

6:00 pm – I feel like shit.  Put on my pajamas.  Watch tv.  Cry a little because I’m feeling really guilty about being a horrible wife.

6:30 pm – Pete gets home.  Asks how I’m feeling.  Tell him I’m feeling shitty.  He hugs me and says that I should lay down.  I cry because he’s being so nice.

9:00 pm – Go to bed.

The other night, Peter was being SO NICE to me, and watching tv with me as I laid on the couch wondering if I was going to throw up, or if I was just going to continue being uncomfortable.  Then, I started to cry.

S: I’m so sorry, Peter.
P: Why??  What’s the matter???
S: Because I haven’t cooked or cleaned and I feel like shit, and you are the one that has to deal with me because I can’t just start to cry at work.
P: Sara!  Oh my gosh, don’t worry!
S: *crying harder* YOU’RE JUST BEING SO NICE TO ME AND I’M NOT BEING THAT NICE TO YOU.

The good news is that Peter has actually really been enjoying eating frozen pizza for the last two weeks.  He feels like a bachelor again.

The bad news is last night when I got home from a Pampered Chef party, he had made a frozen pizza, and the smell just about put me over the edge.

So, needless to say, he’s slightly concerned about his love affair with frozen pizza.

Written October 5.  6.5 weeks.

So, lying sucks.

Last week, I was in Madison for World Dairy Expo.  This coming week I’ll be helping with a tour of around 180 international visitors.  Tours include dinners each night with lots and lots of wine.

Last year when I was at a conference in Uruguay, I was suffering the affects of Dramamine and was also very congested, so took a preventative Advil Cold and Sinus.  The first dinner, I didn’t have a glass of wine and my oh my did my coworkers let me hear it!  Was there something I wanted to tell theeeeeem????  I was like “Seriously, you guys, I’ll be completely off my rocker if I mix any alcohol with this medication cocktail I’ve already got going on.”  I told this story so that you can see that I was already being bothered about not having a drink a year ago when we weren’t thinking about starting a family.

This past Thursday, I went to dinner with a bunch of my coworkers, and it was really fun and I laughed a lot and we had a grand time.  Everyone ordered an alcoholic drink.  I ordered a water.  The waitress came back, and I stuck with water.  And then I heard allllll about how I’m only having water.  Honestly, I’m beginning to think that people like liquored up Sara better than sober Sara.

Obviously, because I don’t do well in situations like this, and because I couldn’t yell ALCOHOL MAY HARM THE FETUS THAT IS THE SIZE OF A LENTIL INSIDE OF ME, I lied.

I took preventative cold medicine because I was feeling a little congested and didn’t want to get a cold right in the middle of this busy two weeks.

I thought I was SO SMART.  No one can dispute that!!  Then, my coworker next to me said, “Oh, actually, you know what you should have if you’re feeling congested?  Scotch.  That’ll clear you right up!”

I pretended I didn’t hear him.

The following night, we had our welcome banquet for all of our international visitors.  I was one of the first people to arrive because I had to set some things up.  After two of my coworkers left, I approached the bartenders.

Hi, friends, I have a big favor to ask you.  I am expecting, but I do NOT want my coworkers to know or suspect anything, so when I come up to the bar, I’ll ask for a rum and Diet Coke, but if you could just put Diet Coke in a drink glass with a lime, that would be fabulous.

They offered their congratulations, and said they were happy to help.  Woohoo!

A bit later, I was chatting with my coworker T, who was at dinner the night before and one of the people giving me grief about sticking to water.  She mentioned that my cheeks were really flushed as we were walking up to the bar to get a drink.

Yeah, I’m feeling really warm, so I’m just going to drink a Diet Coke.  The last thing I need is alcohol in my system making my cheeks rosier than they already are!!!!

After I got my drink, I continued talking with T.

T: It’s really nice that they put the drink in a bar glass for you – it makes it look like a real drink!
S: I know, I’m really glad about that.
T: Yeah, no one will think you’re pregnant.  Not like last night when there were 7 people around the table thinking you were when you only got water!
S: Hahaha! I know!  Seriously though, T, do you REALLY think that I could keep it a secret if I were pregnant?
T: No, you’re right.  You definitely would NOT be able to keep that a secret.

So here I am, with five and a half more weeks of having to keep a secret.  Which, as previously stated, is just torture.

Read Baby Romenesko Post 6: Poor Peter