Written October 5. 6.5 weeks.
So, lying sucks.
Last week, I was in Madison for World Dairy Expo. This coming week I’ll be helping with a tour of around 180 international visitors. Tours include dinners each night with lots and lots of wine.
Last year when I was at a conference in Uruguay, I was suffering the affects of Dramamine and was also very congested, so took a preventative Advil Cold and Sinus. The first dinner, I didn’t have a glass of wine and my oh my did my coworkers let me hear it! Was there something I wanted to tell theeeeeem???? I was like “Seriously, you guys, I’ll be completely off my rocker if I mix any alcohol with this medication cocktail I’ve already got going on.” I told this story so that you can see that I was already being bothered about not having a drink a year ago when we weren’t thinking about starting a family.
This past Thursday, I went to dinner with a bunch of my coworkers, and it was really fun and I laughed a lot and we had a grand time. Everyone ordered an alcoholic drink. I ordered a water. The waitress came back, and I stuck with water. And then I heard allllll about how I’m only having water. Honestly, I’m beginning to think that people like liquored up Sara better than sober Sara.
Obviously, because I don’t do well in situations like this, and because I couldn’t yell ALCOHOL MAY HARM THE FETUS THAT IS THE SIZE OF A LENTIL INSIDE OF ME, I lied.
I took preventative cold medicine because I was feeling a little congested and didn’t want to get a cold right in the middle of this busy two weeks.
I thought I was SO SMART. No one can dispute that!! Then, my coworker next to me said, “Oh, actually, you know what you should have if you’re feeling congested? Scotch. That’ll clear you right up!”
I pretended I didn’t hear him.
The following night, we had our welcome banquet for all of our international visitors. I was one of the first people to arrive because I had to set some things up. After two of my coworkers left, I approached the bartenders.
Hi, friends, I have a big favor to ask you. I am expecting, but I do NOT want my coworkers to know or suspect anything, so when I come up to the bar, I’ll ask for a rum and Diet Coke, but if you could just put Diet Coke in a drink glass with a lime, that would be fabulous.
They offered their congratulations, and said they were happy to help. Woohoo!
A bit later, I was chatting with my coworker T, who was at dinner the night before and one of the people giving me grief about sticking to water. She mentioned that my cheeks were really flushed as we were walking up to the bar to get a drink.
Yeah, I’m feeling really warm, so I’m just going to drink a Diet Coke. The last thing I need is alcohol in my system making my cheeks rosier than they already are!!!!
After I got my drink, I continued talking with T.
T: It’s really nice that they put the drink in a bar glass for you – it makes it look like a real drink!
S: I know, I’m really glad about that.
T: Yeah, no one will think you’re pregnant. Not like last night when there were 7 people around the table thinking you were when you only got water!
S: Hahaha! I know! Seriously though, T, do you REALLY think that I could keep it a secret if I were pregnant?
T: No, you’re right. You definitely would NOT be able to keep that a secret.
So here I am, with five and a half more weeks of having to keep a secret. Which, as previously stated, is just torture.
Real World Romenesko 