Car wash

To answer the question that has been haunting you for days, but you’ve been too shy to ask, the answer is yes.

Peter and I are available to document your engagement.  Details can be sent to Peter. 

You’re welcome.

I thought about never blogging again after my post about Kim and Stew’s engagement, because they made me famous for a second or two, but then on Sunday I went through the car wash.

In Lake Geneva there is this amazing car wash where for $25, you get the outside of your car cleaned AND the inside all vacuumed out and wiped down and smelling all nice.  After nannying two 6 year old twins last fall and carting them everywhere booster seats and all, my car was in desperate need of a wipe down/vacuum, and I always found better things to do like watch TV or eat a popsicle than to do it myself.

It was a sweltering 97 degrees on Sunday and about 829% humidity.  Fun!  So, when I was on my way back up to Green Bay, I stopped at this car wash.  I paid.  I waited in line.  I pulled up… and realized that oh mother… I had to shut all of my windows to get through the car wash.  No, I still haven’t gotten my AC fixed.

Now this car wash is one of those where you drive your car onto the track, put the car in neutral, and then it pulls you through all of the soap and suds and scrubbing things.  In a car wash like this, there is SOMETHING coming at your car AT ALL TIMES.  Not like the car wash where you just park the car and the machines move around you.  

I started to get kind of panicky because this car wash is kind of long.  Because I was getting kind of panicky, I was getting hotter, and I was breathing heavier.  Because things were coming at my car constantly, there wouldn’t be an opportunity for me to crack my window to suck in some of that soapy/humid/kind of nasty car wash air.  

When I first pulled in, I turned the knob so that there would be SOME air movement in the blasted car.  It smelled really funny, and it was slightly cool at first, but then there was really warm air blasting at me, and since I was already getting hot and breathing heavily because I was kind of panicky, I had to turn that off.

It was the longest car wash of my LIFE.  I literally had beads of sweat dripping down my face.  I was wearing a bright blue t-shirt that had sweat marks on the back because it was so hot in that damn car.  In my head I thought that the soap must have changed or something, because I couldn’t really see out of my windshield or windows.

When I FINALLY got through all the washing things and could see the light of day again, I realized that holy mother trucker!  It wasn’t the SOAP that was clouding my vision – the windows of the car were ALL fogged up because I was hyperventilating.  So THEN I looked like a REAL idiot when I had my windows cracked as I was moving through the air dryers.

By the time the outside of the car was clean, I was crouching so far down trying to see out of the sliver of clear windshield that I could find that I could hardly drive because my face was smashed into the the steering wheel.  

I navigated my way over to where they clean the inside of your car, turned the car off, and sat with the door open, because that hot, humid, fresh summer air felt soooo goooood.  Then they made me get all the way out of my car so they could clean it.  I was kind of embarrassed, because they had to physically ask me to please move so they could do their job.

And then I went and sat in the air conditioned waiting room and watched the 1999 Women’s World Cup Finals USA vs China on TV with a nice old man who kept talking to me.  And asking me if I was going to be ok.  Probably because I looked like such a wreck after sitting my sauna of a car without any ventilation for 5 hours 10 minutes.

When my car was finished, I was happy because I couldn’t see the dust on the dashboard anymore.  

But then I was unhappy because I had to roll my windows all the way down so now they have watermarks on them.

Looks like I’m not going through the car wash again until October.


1 thought on “Car wash

  1. Sara Jane, You need an Uncle Tom so you never have to go in that scary car wash again!! Send Peter over! Uncle Tom will teach him how to detail your car like no other. Then while your car is being detailed you can watch T.V. and eat a popsicle.


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