Yesterday I was talking on the phone with Adrianna.  We started talking about the blog post that I wrote on Sunday.  She liked it (Adrianna, for those of you who don’t know, is hard to please).  Then, she started laughing.  She started laughing really hard.  

Sara: What the heck is so funny?

Adrianna: Well, when I was reading about how you were choking on the strawberry lemonade, I remembered the time that you swallowed a Lego.  How did that happen again?  Tell me THAT story.

I didn’t think it would come to this.  But here I go.

Confession: I, Sara Jane Vanderstappen, have swallowed a lego.  But it happened a looooong time ago.

It happened in the summer.

Of 2009.

Flashback: Summer of 2009.  Job title: Nanny.  Job description: Star Wars, water balloons, and Legos.

One of the three lucky families that I nannied for that summer had a boy that liked Legos.  Excuse me, ADORED Legos.  Let me tell you.  I am can build some AWESOME stuff with Legos.  

Anyways, sometimes I got REALLY bored building all those awesome Lego things.  And so then I would just kind of, chew on the Lego blocks.  Irresponsible, I know.  Especially because when ANY kid would put ANYTHING in their mouth besides food, I would be like, “HEY!  KID!!  Get that OUT of your mouth RIGHT now, otherwise you will CHOKE and DIE, and THEN I will be out of WORK, and I am TRYING to save up so that I can move to a foreign country AWAY from you MONGRELS.”  So I would put bacteria infested Legos in my own mouth instead.  The things we do when we are young and stupid.

I don’t know how it happened.  Did I inhale too quickly to fill my lungs with air to yell at a child?  Did I start laughing and gasped for air to continue with this joyous laughter?  Did I just need a deep breath of air?  I still don’t know.  But it all happened so fast.

All of a sudden, I was coughing, and trying to cough up this Lego bit.  But alas, it was already too late.  I had swallowed the Lego.  

And I swore, right then and there that I would never, EVER in my ENTIRE life tell ANYONE about the time I swallowed a Lego.

Then Adrianna called me and was having a bad day, so I told her my story and it cheered her up.

And now I’m telling the whole world.

For the record, I never saw this:

For the other record, THIS was the Lego piece that I swallowed:

What?  OHMYGOD.  Did you think it was like, THIS or something??

THAT would have been AWFUL.

1 thought on “Confession.

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