Yesterday I was talking on the phone with Adrianna. We started talking about the blog post that I wrote on Sunday. She liked it (Adrianna, for those of you who don’t know, is hard to please). Then, she started laughing. She started laughing really hard.
Sara: What the heck is so funny?
Adrianna: Well, when I was reading about how you were choking on the strawberry lemonade, I remembered the time that you swallowed a Lego. How did that happen again? Tell me THAT story.
I didn’t think it would come to this. But here I go.
Confession: I, Sara Jane Vanderstappen, have swallowed a lego. But it happened a looooong time ago.
It happened in the summer.
Flashback: Summer of 2009. Job title: Nanny. Job description: Star Wars, water balloons, and Legos.
One of the three lucky families that I nannied for that summer had a boy that liked Legos. Excuse me, ADORED Legos. Let me tell you. I am can build some AWESOME stuff with Legos.
Anyways, sometimes I got REALLY bored building all those awesome Lego things. And so then I would just kind of, chew on the Lego blocks. Irresponsible, I know. Especially because when ANY kid would put ANYTHING in their mouth besides food, I would be like, “HEY! KID!! Get that OUT of your mouth RIGHT now, otherwise you will CHOKE and DIE, and THEN I will be out of WORK, and I am TRYING to save up so that I can move to a foreign country AWAY from you MONGRELS.” So I would put bacteria infested Legos in my own mouth instead. The things we do when we are young and stupid.
I don’t know how it happened. Did I inhale too quickly to fill my lungs with air to yell at a child? Did I start laughing and gasped for air to continue with this joyous laughter? Did I just need a deep breath of air? I still don’t know. But it all happened so fast.
All of a sudden, I was coughing, and trying to cough up this Lego bit. But alas, it was already too late. I had swallowed the Lego.
And I swore, right then and there that I would never, EVER in my ENTIRE life tell ANYONE about the time I swallowed a Lego.
Then Adrianna called me and was having a bad day, so I told her my story and it cheered her up.
And now I’m telling the whole world.
For the record, I never saw this:
For the other record, THIS was the Lego piece that I swallowed:
What? OHMYGOD. Did you think it was like, THIS or something??
THAT would have been AWFUL.