They say that a picture is worth a thousand words. It just so happens, that THIS picture is worth seven hundred and eighty one. So ALMOST a thousand.

Let me explain.

1. Guilt gift #1. This is the ONE thing that Peter told me he actually WANTED for his birthday… and I didn’t get it for him until I felt really guilty about ruining his birthday by telling him about the jersey (see previous post…). By the way, he’s wearing the jersey behind the blanket. Speaking of the blanket…

Today, we are celebrating the day of birth of one Peter Wells Romenesko aka one of the most impossible people to buy a gift for, only because he has a tendency to buy himself the things that he wants.

Wednesday, January 19

Finally. I FINALLY thought of something to get Peter for his birthday. A Jordy Nelson Packer jersey. Peter’s favorite Packer. THE PERFECT GIFT. So I tell my sister Jenna (screw respecting people’s privacy) about it. She agrees. What a great gift.

ONE HOUR after I tell Jenna about this gift, I get an email from Peter. Please read the following correspondence (and I went back into my archives… This is all real conversation, kids):

promenesko: I need to go get a Packer jersey. We can wear jeans tomorrow and Friday if we are wearing jerseys.

svanderstappen: You’re going to go buy a Packer jersey tonight just so you can wear jeans for the next two days?

promenesko: It was inevitable.

svanderstappen: Whose jersey are you going to get? Jordy?

promenesko: I doubt they sell his, but if so it’s mine.

svanderstappen: I can’t believe you’re going to get it today.

promenesko: I’m going to be the only person in the office without a jersey. Even the Patriots fan has a Packer jersey!

svanderstappen: YOU’RE RUINING YOUR BIRTHDAY.

promenesko: Well. I can’t find any that I’ll be able to get for tomorrow. So now you ruined my birthday.

svanderstappen: THEY HAVE THEM AT THE PACKER PRO SHOP.

promenesko: They have 2XL at the Pro Shop. That’s huge!

svanderstappen: I’M UPSET BECAUSE NOW I’VE GONE AND RUINED YOUR BIRTHDAY BECAUSE I THOUGHT YOU WERE RUINING YOUR BIRTHDAY.

Not one of my finer moments.

So now, I am upset because I’ve ruined Peter’s birthday and I am back right where I started not knowing what to get him.

February 10, 2011

I broke down, went to the Packer Pro Shop and bought Peter the Jordy Nelson jersey. Even though he bought himself a Clay Matthews jersey. They didn’t have any jerseys left, so I got a custom-made one (it looks the exact same as a regular jersey, but it costs more. Awesome.). FYI: You can’t return custom-made jerseys.

February 11, 2011

Peter and I are heading to Lake Geneva for the weekend. After work, I went right to his apartment so that we could leave ASAP. There is a box from UPS at his apartment. I ask him what’s inside…

Sara: So, what did you get in the mail?

Peter: *Holds up a t-shirt*

–FYI: 87 is Jordy Nelson. AWESOME.

Sara: … Who’s that for?

Peter: … Doug …

Sara: You got that for Doug? Not for yourself?

Peter: … Well… I DID get two…

Sara: I am SO mad at you. You can’t buy things for yourself when your birthday is less than a week away!!

Peter: Oh my God, did you get me this shirt?

Sara: NO. I am not telling you what I got you, but I am SO mad because you are RUINING your BIRTHDAY.

Peter: What? Well if you didn’t get me this shirt, how am I ruining it? What did you get me?

Sara: I’M NOT TELLING YOU BECAUSE I DON’T WANT TO RUIN YOUR BIRTHDAY.

Peter: Fine. Don’t tell me.

2 seconds later

Sara: I GOT YOU A JORDY NELSON JERSEY FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY.

Peter: … You did?

Sara: YES. AND YOU CANNOT RETURN IT BECAUSE IT IS CUSTOM-MADE.

Peter: You got me a custom-made Jordy Nelson jersey for my birthday? That’s awesome! Sar. A shirt is different than a jersey.

Sara: I KNOW BUT YOU DIDN’T HAVE ANY JORDY NELSON STUFF BEFORE.

Peter: I’ll still wear the jersey.

Sara: WELL NOW I’M MAD BECAUSE I REALLY RUINED YOUR BIRTHDAY.

Please take note that we are about to get into a car for 3 hours.

*About 2 minutes into the car ride*

Sara: … Please don’t tell anyone that I ruined your birthday.

Peter: I won’t.

Dear Peter,

Thanks for putting up with me. For the record I DID get you another present yesterday because I felt guilty about ruining the good gift. But I won’t tell you what it is – I’ll let you open it and be surprised!

Love, Sara

I did it. I single-handedly got the Packers to the Superbowl. All because I bought a Packer t-shirt.

Maybe Mike McCarthy helped a LITTLE bit. And probably Aaron Rodgers. But whatever, I bought a t-shirt and COINCIDENTALLY the first day I wore it, the Packers felt my Packer-o-Meter rise from ZERO to MINIMAL and won the BIG game. I’m trying. Kind of…

On Sunday, Peter (More than EVER I want to keep referring to him as Skywalker, but I won’t.) and I made our way to Wrightstown to meet up with some amigos of ours (I will admit that they started out as his friends, but I’m so AWESOME that they like me better than him now, and when they invite him places, they say, “You can’t come unless you bring Sara.” And they’re SERIOUS. I just KNOW it.) to watch the BIGGEST game of all time: the Packers vs. the Bears (in case you didn’t know…).

We got to the bar an hour and a half before the game. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat? Yes. Because they had the most amazing drink special EVER – you pay one price, depending on how early you get there, and can drink all you want, of almost whatever you want. So for $6.50, I had more drinks than I needed (Brandy Old-Fashioned super sweet, anyone? Oh YUM), and so did most other people there. Every touchdown was a jello shot. The win was two. THOSE were yummy too.

There was screaming. There was table-pounding. And then, there was beard rubbing. Peter, in all of his wisdom, thought it would be fun to grow a “playoff beard”. It didn’t start until a week ago (“Because being the wildcard isn’t REALLY the playoffs, but now they’re like, fighting for the Championship, so it’s a playoff beard.”), and he didn’t call it the playoff beard until Sunday. And let me tell you what. The men in the group we were in LOVED it.

First, they were impressed that Peter is such a man and can grow a beard that fast. I grew up with the manliest of men: an almost 22 year old brother who shaves every other week, but you can’t even tell; a 26 year old brother-in-law who tries to pull off a goatee, but doesn’t REALLY succeed; and a 52 year old father whom no one has ever seen with facial hair. So when I see Peter at 8 o’clock at night and say, “Oh, you didn’t shave today?” and he responds, “Yeah, I shaved this morning.”, I am shocked EVERY time. A 5 o’clock shadow really DOES exist – I apparently never hung out with the right people.

Every time there was an AWESOME play by the Packers, most of which I missed but DID catch on the re-play (not that I knew what was going on anyways…), everyone reached for Peter’s face. My eye-rolling didn’t start until people told ME to rub the beard. No. I will not. I do NOT support the playoff beard, and Peter knows this.

So enthused.

When the Packers won the game, it was because of the beard (I didn’t tell anyone about my t-shirt – the REAL reason for the win). Not only were people smashing mine and Peter’s faces together so that I could REALLY feel the beard, people WITHOUT beards were smashing THEIR faces against mine saying, “Feel the beard!!!” WHAT beard?

With all this face-smashing, I started looking around at the “normal” people in the bar, and then I got scared. Someone was STANDING on a HIGH chair at the table behind us. I almost went DEAF from all of the screaming that was going on. Hugs became suffocating embraces, and high-fives became hand-numbing slaps.

In all honesty, it’s a lot easier to get into the game when you’re in a mob of hyped up people than when you’re sitting next to your boyfriend who keeps interrupting your reading.

I would say I’m more scared for my safety on Superbowl Sunday than anything, but I WILL be wearing my Packer t-shirt, so at least I won’t get shot. AND since I didn’t SAY anything (except to Peter) about the power of my t-shirt, PETER with his MAGICAL playoff beard will be blamed if GOD FORBID the Packers lose. Which they won’t. Right? See what a fan I’m being? …

…Too many Old Fashioneds.

Well. THAT wasn’t the reaction I was expecting.

FLASHBACK: Dinner on Tuesday night.
CHARACTERS: Sara (obviously) and Skywalker
SCENE: Sitting at the dinner table in Sara’s apartment. It’s leftover night. A plethora of choices including: tuna macaroni, spaghetti, steamed vegetables, and hot dogs.

*******DISCLAIMER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!********
Ok, so this conversation is how I remember it. Ask SKYWALKER if you want HIS side of the story. HOWEVER. My re-enactment is very, VERY close to what actually happened. I KNOW it.

*Earlier in the day, Sara emailed Skywalker that she was excited for him to read her blog post because she wrote about him. Then she emailed him again and said that she didn’t write anything mean. What Sara was REALLY excited about was the ALIAS that she had chosen for her boyfriend. YAY surprises!!

Sara: So. Did you read the blog?

Skywalker: You named me SKYWALKER?!?

Sara: DON’T YOU LOVE IT?!?!

Skywalker: No.

Sara: What? Are you kidding?

Skywalker: I don’t know why you don’t just use my real name – everyone knows who I am.

Sara: I’m respecting your privacy!!! I thought it was CLEVER.

Skywalker: But SKYWALKER? EVERYONE KNOWS IT’S ME!

Sara: … Well at least I didn’t name you Chewbacca. I really WAS going to do that you know. I put a lot of thought into this! You like Star Wars! It’s like calling you a Superhero! Look at me! I’m DATING a SUPERHERO!!!!!!!!

Skywalker: Just call me by my real name.

Sara: I like Skywalker.

Peter: You’re mocking me.

Sara: I REALLY thought you would like it! I THOUGHT I WAS BEING CLEVER! I was GOING to call you CHEWBACCA.

Skywalker: Sar. People aren’t going to take me seriously. People that read your blog are going to come up to me and say, “Oh hey SKYWALKER, what do YOU do? Fight JEDIS?!?!”

Sara: Really? NO ONE TAKES ME SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!

Skywalker: Just… Call me by my real name.

Sara: Fine. I’ll CHANGE it.

… Moments of silence …

Sara: You know, everyone DOES know who are are. I mean, gosh, I put a picture of you on there.

Skywalker: I know.

Sara: Huh. I didn’t even THINK of that.

Skywalker: … I know…

Sara: Ok. So, hypothetically speaking, what WOULD you be called if you could be called something? I mean, I WISH I could re-name myself. But I just can’t. My real name is in the TITLE.

Skywalker: I’m not doing this with you.

Sara: Fine.

… Moments of Silence …

Sara: OH. SO. The Fincutters emailed me about dinner. What’s the plan?

Skywalker: Well we can go to the place inside Lambeau or more of a Supper Club.

Sara: What’s a Supper Club?

Skywalker: You don’t know what that is?

Sara: I know what the Breakfast Club is.

Skywalker: Are you kidding me? Duck Inn? Crandall’s?

Sara: …

Skywalker: How have you gone your whole life not knowing what a Supper Club is? Where’s my phone, I need to text your mom.

*As Skywalker is texing my mom, I text her too. “Skywalker is being mean to me.”*

^bleep bleep^

Skywalker: BAHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Sara: She didn’t text ME back… What are you saying to her?! What’s so FUNNY???? Why is she texting YOU and not ME?! I’M HER DAUGHTER.

Skywalker: Well, I said, “I just spent the last 10 minutes trying to explain to Sara what a Supper Club is.” and she said “Welcome to my life.”

^ding a ling^

Sara: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Skywalker: What?

Sara: Tay just texted me. “What’s a Supper Club?”

Skywalker: Give me your phone.

Sara: What are you saying?

Skywalker: “You’re dumb too.”

**Scene fades out**

So, folks, now I shall reveal to you the man that you have known as Skywalker for all of three days. Gone shall be his privacy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NAME: PETER W. ROMENESKO
OCCUPATION: MARKETING COORDINATOR
SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER: Just kidding, Pete.

Since moving to Green Bay, the most common question that I am asked is if I am a Packer fan.

No, I am not. I’m not a fan of ANY NFL team. Or any sports team actually, besides the Badgers – being a supportive alum and everything.

However, since I don’t want to get shot, I say, “Well, I’m learning to be a Packer fan.” Lies. All lies. I’m faking. I don’t ACTUALLY care what team wins or loses. But I lie anyways. Now that I’m not living under my parents’ roof, I seem to find lying easier. Not big lies, but small lies – like the Packer thing. Maybe it’s easier now that I’m away from my mom’s wrath, as I am the only one of her 7 children that got soap in my mouth for lying. Trust me, I never lied to her again. Not even to tell her that I liked her shirt when I really didn’t. I straight up say, “Mom, I don’t like that shirt.” I can’t get soap in my mouth, because I’m telling the truth, but I CAN get dirty looks/”Why are you so mean to me?!” comments. Oh the life.

So anyways, during the fall I would come up to Green Bay just about every weekend to visit my darling boyfriend Skywalker (see Cast of Characters on the side bar). I never realized what a Packer fan he is until this year, because Sundays were spent watching the Packer games, getting excited about Jordy something or other, and commenting on how ugly Clay Matthews is. I would comment on the ugly, but generally spend the games on the internet or reading, glancing up at the TV when he would yell or jumping from my seat when HE jumped up and screamed. He is a different man when we watch the Packer games.

I did attend a Packer game this fall with Skywalker and a couple of our friends. To prepare, I borrowed some of my cousin’s Packer gear and had Skywalker prep me on names/rules/etc. I must say that actually being IN Lambeau Field, I did kind of get into the game. Into it as in I had no idea what was happening, but I’m good at reading the atmosphere of the crowd and could therefore yell obscenities or scream WOOOOOOOOO at the right times. I’m a GREAT actress. All in all it was a good time, but at around the third quarter I realized I was watching the crowd more than the players. I’m still learning…

People here are crazy. I drove past a prom dress type store a couple days ago and saw in the window that all the mannequins were going to the Packer prom. Really? I mean, who would REALLY buy a dress that is bright yellow and emerald green? WHY do the Packers have to have such a horrible color combination?!

The people paint their houses these hideous colors. There is a fence painted yellow with green writing across from Lambeau field that says “IN COACH McCARTHY WE TRUST”. THAT is sickening. If the Packers win, the city celebrates. If the Packers lose, however, a dark, stormy cloud forms over Green Bay, and people don’t come out of their houses for days. DAYS. From what Skywalker has told me, the mood at work shifts to one of irritation, annoyance, and anger. I’ve been lucky – since I’ve started working the Packers have been on a winning streak. I will OBVIOUSLY be taking all of the credit if they go to the Superbowl. If they don’t – not my fault.

On Fridays at work, you can wear Packer gear. I do not OWN any Packer gear. And I get made fun of by Donald for it – the biggest Packer fan that has ever lived. I don’t leave my house on game days for fear of getting shot because I’m not wearing Packer stuff. It’s a scary world up here.

On Monday mornings, all of the radio shows talk about the Packer game that everyone just watched the weekend before. On Friday mornings, they talk about the Packer game that is coming up. This weekend is the battle between the Packers and Bears – the biggest game EVER, fighting for the NFC Championship. They haven’t played each other in the playoffs since 1941 – Donald even knows the exact date (December 14, if you’re wondering…)!! The day could end in married couples getting divorced, TVs being broken, or even people calling in sick to work on Monday, all depending on the outcome. I’m not kidding.

I will be watching the game in my non-Packer attire, although, for next season I MAY have to break down and buy something, just because I don’t want to be judged. I mean really, who likes to be judged?

Ugh.