Stupid friendship.

The other day, one of my co-workers asked me if I wanted to make some Amish Friendship Bread.  Since one of my new favorite hobbies is cooking/baking, I was like HECK YES!  Because I love the Amish (they make amazing furniture)!  I LOVE friendship (that’s why I have so many Facebook friends)!!  And I LOVE bread (I never understood people who don’t like bread)!!!  What’s better than having friends that give you a bag full of bread batter?  NOTHING, that’s what!!!


I was all excited about this bread. 
Until I read the directions.  This bread is too high maintenance for me.


Day 1: Do nothing.  Hey.  I can handle that.
Day 2: Mush the bag.  Is there a proper technique to this?

Day 6: Add xxx ingredients.  Good thing that I have milk in my fridge since we had company over for dinner and I had Peter buy milk because it’s rude to not have milk.  Is it supposed to smell like this??


On Day 10 when it’s baking day, before you bake it you’re supposed to put a cup or something of batter into x number of gallon sized Ziploc bags to pass out to your friends.  Who the heck am I going to give this bread to?  Can’t pass it out at work, because I don’t want it back in MY kitchen.  I’ll tell you what.  I’m going to be a good friend and NOT pass those out.  I don’t want to burden people with the pressure of finding more friends to bake bread with!  Why did I ever agree to a friendship that has “baking bread” in the contract?? 


Jenna called me on Sunday.  Turns out that she was making her first batch of Friendship bread too.  


Jenna: Have you ever made this?


Sara: No.  I’m only on Day 4 of mushing.  I don’t want to make it anymore.


Jenna: I’m on the baking day.  I don’t want to do it anymore either.  I already divided the batter into other bags and started thinking about it.  Am I going to give people rancid bread batter?   I put milk in it like I was supposed to, but milk goes bad.  And then I started thinking about it, and if everyone takes a cup of batter out to give to people, how old is the milk in MY bag?  Seriously, I don’t want to eat this.  What if people get sick?


Sara: … I didn’t think of that.  I don’t want mine either.


Jenna: Stupid friendship.


Sara: STUPID FRIENDSHIP.


Jenna told me later that after some googling and widipedia-ing, the milk keeps the yeast alive or something.  Whatever.  


Guess what.  My baking day is on December 17.  Super convenient because it’s a Saturday.  Well.  Not for me.  Do you know what I’m doing on December 17?  I’ll just tell you.  Peter and I are driving to River Falls because my brother is graduating college (high five!!).  So now, I have to wake up at like 6 or something to bake this bread that I don’t even WANT anymore.


STUPID FRIENDSHIP.


So.  Does anyone want a starter bag of Amish Friendship bread?  


I’m serious.

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