Before you read this post, you need to know a little background info so that you’re not really confused. But you’ll probably get confused at this one part, because I was really confused when I was living it, so if you get confused at that part that’s GOOD because it means that I was able to convey my true emotions. Is that clear?
Background: Kim and Stew are our friends. They are dating. Kim and Peter work together. Kim, Peter, and Stew all live in the same apartment building. Stew and Peter became BFF when Stew was bored because Kim was galavanting all over Wisconsin being Miss Wisconsin 2010. Peter was bored too because the love of his life didn’t live in Green Bay yet. Stew started visiting Peter and bringing him candy and playing video games with him. Then they started calling each other “bro” and “buddy” and like fist-pounding and stuff. Their relationship escalated into this weird bromance pretty quickly, and all of a sudden Kim and I thought that maybe Peter and Stew were dating, because they were spending more time with each other than they were with their beautiful girlfriends. So anyways, we spend a lot of time with Kim and Stew which is fun because they make me laugh and always have funny stories to share. And I really like Kim because she likes funfetti cupcakes, and I really like funfetti cupcakes too.
On to the story.
I am not good at keeping secrets. I mean, I can keep secrets that are along the lines of “I am telling you something very personal and need complete confidentiality”, but I am horrible at keeping secrets that involve surprises of any kind. This has been proven on many occasions, specifically Peter’s birthday, although that secret was ruined more out of anger than anything else. So it looks like I need to work on my self-control too. Baby steps, people.
Peter, on the other hand, is a vault. If you tell him something and say, “Don’t say anything, because it’s a surprise!!”, he locks it away and really doesn’t breathe a word to anyone. He knows that he can’t tell me what he’s getting anyone for Christmas or their birthday. He knows that he can’t tell me about the surprise party that we’re attending until we’re on our way. I know I’m pathetic. But I just can’t contain myself when I know a secret that is just so exciting. So if you have a secret, tell Peter, not me, because I’ll probably spill the beans.
Last Thursday night I went to bed at 9:00. Stop judging, I was tired. Anyways, I told Peter that I was going to bed, which means “Do not call or text me because I will be sleeping and will be upset if my slumber is disturbed.”
He called me at 10:45. PM. I answered because I thought something might be wrong, especially since I JUST told him to NOT DISTURB me because I was SLEEPING. GOSH, is that SO MUCH to ASK??
… Kim and Stew … engaged? … birthday … tomorrow night … don’t say anything … surprise … propose … sneak attack… go back to sleep …
That is LITERALLY all I remember about that conversation. If I am woken up suddenly in the middle of sleeping, I am so confused and disoriented. And Peter knows this. I had no idea why he was calling me in the middle of the night. When I hung up the phone, I was even more confused. What the heck had we just talked about? (For the record, when I shared these thoughts with Peter, he said, “Yeah, I told Stew that I didn’t think you’d remember anything I said, but I called anyways because I knew you’d be mad at me if I waited until Friday to tell you.” He knows me so well.) So, I called him back at 11:03. PM. Way past my bedtime.
That’s when Peter explained everything to me, and it all made perfect sense. Friday was Kim’s birthday, and Stew wanted to propose to her. He thought it would be neat to get the whole thing on video, and he wanted us to do it.
Sara: Peter, you need to double check with Stew to make SURE that he wants US there of all people.
Peter: Sar, why would he ask us to do it if he didn’t want us there?
Sara: I don’t know. But you need to make sure.
I eventually went back to sleep after thinking about how this whole proposal thing was going to go down. I was really excited. Because I like Kim, and I like Stew, and I like weddings, so wrapping all three of those things into one big thing is pretty awesome. I was also thinking about how happy I was that I didn’t have to see Kim until the moment it happened (I literally had to keep the secret for less than 24 hours. It just seemed so… impossible…), and then I started thinking about how Peter works with Kim, and he would not be able to avoid her at work. Sucks for him.
So, Friday comes, and I called Peter on my way to work to talk to him about the proposal. And then I called my mom because I wanted to talk about the proposal with a girl because girls are more fun than boys. And then I worked until noon (in the summer I get half days on Fridays… sweet!!), and then I called Peter on my way home to talk more about the proposal and see how he was holding up with not telling Kim. He was fine. Not giddy and bursting at the seams like me.
When I got home I called Stew to get the final details all sorted out about what was going to happen that night to make sure that Peter and I were on the same page, and to make sure that that page was the same as Stew’s. It was seriously 100 degrees on Friday with 785% humidity, by the way. And the proposal was happening in the Green Bay Botanical Gardens. Which is outside, in case you were wondering. Also, I don’t know if you remember, but I have this sweating issue that I wish I didn’t have, but do. Awesome.
Plan: Peter and I get to the gardens before Kim and Stew and hide out. Then, when Kim and Stew are in the gazebo, we will sneak up behind them and Peter will start recording and Stew will propose to Kim.
Peter came over after work and changed into not-work clothes and we got the camera all ready and made sure we had everything figured out before heading over to the gardens. Peter was texting Stew the whole time to make sure that they didn’t get there before us. Stew told us to park “incognito” so that Kim wouldn’t see my car.
Problem: There were only TWO cars in the parking lot… mine… and the woman who worked the front desk. So we parked as far away as we could behind a hedge, and Peter told Stew to park in the fourth parking lot, not the first one where we were. Situation averted.
When we hurried in to the reception area, I rushed over to the front desk. The lady working the front desk talked slower than anyone I’ve ever met, and she moved even SLOWER.
Sara: Hi! We’re the precursor to the engagement? Stewart Larsen called?
Lady: Oooooh, helloooooo. Yes, I believe mmhmmmm I have that here somewhereeeee… Oh yeeeees, here iiiiiiiit is. Stewart Larsen?…
Peter: Yeah, I’m taking the video.
Sara: Where is the gazebo?
Lady: Okkkkk… Go throoooooooooough the first gardennnn… aaaaaand theeeen go paaaaast the fountainnnnn… iiiiinto the seeeeecond gardennnn…. Keeeeeeeep going straaaaaight, and you’ll seeeee the gazeboooooooooo.
FYI: She could have just pointed and been like “The gazebo is right there.”
Lady: Mmmmhmmmm… Yes… That will be fourteeeen dollarssss.
Sara: *shoves a $20 in her hand*
Lady: *moving SO FRICKING SLOWLY*
Sara: Ummm…. actually, they’re going to be here any minute? So, if you could just… you know… *makes ‘move faster’ motion with hands*
Lady: *hands Sara change*
Sara: *grabs money* OKTHANKSBYE.
Peter and I proceed to book-it through the gardens ditching the sidewalk and walking right past the “keep off the grass” sign and straight through the lawn to the gazebo. This was an important mission! Peter texts Stew to GO STRAIGHT TO THE GAZEBO and not to veer off the gazebo path, because one wrong turn and surprise! There we were.
We hid behind a hedge in the woodchips. It. Was. HOT. And I was getting nervous because I wanted to be sure everything went ok. When I get nervous I talk. So I started whispering to Peter.
“I hope this works.”
“Turn off the camera, the battery will die!”
“My GOD I’m so hot!!”
“Good thing I wore this shirt that you can’t see sweat in.”
Peter got a little bit snippy with my talking… He told me to please be quiet. Even though Kim and Stew weren’t even THERE yet. Then he told me to take off my shoes. Excuse me?
*all spoken in a harsh whisper*
Peter: Sar, take off your sandals.
Sara: I am not taking off my sandals.
Peter: You need to take off your sandals.
Sara: There is no way I’m taking off my sandals. We are standing in woodchips. No.
Peter: Sara. Take. Off. Your. Sandals. We have to do a sneak attack. Like a ninja.
Peter: Just take your shoes off!!
Sara: FINE! You don’t need to YELL at me!!
All of a sudden, we get a text from Stew. They’re in. I stop breathing. They are walking around the garden looking at all the pretty flowers. Pretty soon, they’re RIGHT on the OTHER SIDE of the hedge WHERE WE ARE STANDING. Kim keeps saying “Oooooh!! Look at THAT pretty flower!!” And Stew keeps being like “Oh, that’s a wionvaiofh flower! I’m a biology major!! So I know these things! I love plants!!” Or something like that.
They FINALLY made it over to the gazebo right when sweat dripped in my eye, and Peter darted over to follow them. I hurried along in my bare feet and set my purse and shoes down on a bench. Kim and Stew were hugging strategically so that Kim wouldn’t see Peter and I ninja sneak up on them. He started filming…
Kim: SHUT THE EFF UP! OHMYGOD. Ohmygod you’re not supposed to SWEAR on videos like this!!
Then Stew proposed and it was so sweet and wonderful because the ring in GORGEOUS, and it’s just such a wonderful moment because these two people who we love are standing in front of us deciding to love each other for eternity and be together forever. I got all teared up and was smiling like an idiot. But not as much as Kim and Stew were.
|Holy mother their children are going to be
rock stars or something because they’re so beautiful.
Kim kept jumping up and down because she was so happy and excited and looking at me and Peter and pointing and saying, “OHMYGOD YOU TWO!!!” like we had planned the whole thing, but really it was Stew who did it all. And he did a good job. We were just there. Actually, Peter was there to film it, and I was just along for the un-air conditioned ride.
After they got engaged, we walked all over the garden since we paid seven bucks a pop to get in, and Peter took pictures of Kim and Stew being all engaged and adorable. While he was doing that I was obnoxiously staring at Kim’s ring and telling her how I’m so glad that I didn’t have to see her until just then otherwise I would have ruined everything.
|Stew legit looked like that before Kim smooched him.|
|Thank GAWD he’s a human now.|
I’m also really happy that Peter and I have the ability to accomplish a super important secret mission without killing each other. At least we have that going for us.